Independent Mama is the story of my own journey, the coming together of motherhood and me-hood. It was by far the hardest part of becoming a mother, and I wish I’d been able to prepare for the mental shift as well as I had lovingly prepared my baby’s nursery. I share my story here because I know I am not the only one facing this identity crisis, and I want to connect with and inspire moms like you who are figuring it all out, too!
Before I became blessed with my sweet son Enzo, I hiked the mountains of Peru and taught English to kids in Costa Rica. I road tripped across the US sleeping in the back of my car with my camera and my cat. I backpacked Europe, jumped out of planes, and took every opportunity to try something new.
And then I relinquished that part of me to motherhood, because being me while also being his mom felt so damn overwhelming and I felt like I had to give up myself just to get through the day.
It’s what brought on the panic attacks and the therapy, and ultimately the realization that I was having an identity crisis. How can one be nurturing and utterly devoted to a child while also giving in to impulses to adventure away?
It felt impossible for some time, but eventually I realized that by withholding that part of myself from my kids, I was hurting them.
THEY DESERVE EVERYTHING.
Once I stopped blaming myself for not being the perfect mother, it was so much easier to give my son the person that I WAS. And guess what, it turns out he craves adventure as much as I do!
I have four kids now and I joke that my oldest was my practice baby. But we are making up for lost time!
So that’s it! I laugh too much, read too little, and play a damn good game of foosball. If you want to do something ill-advised like cuddle a croc or jump in ice water, I’m probably your girl. And I’ll bring my camera along, too. 😉